There’s something wrong with me. I’m not normal. I should be sleeping. It’s the middle of a night, everyone’s sleeping and I’m in front of game engine editor testing new solutions. Nobody forces me to do so. Nobody is paying me extra. I … just… cant… fall asleep… until I find the solution for the issue I have with this bloody code.

I’ve started my gamedev journey in 2014 and I cannot recall how many times I found myself in similar situations. Countless, that’s for sure.

Yesterday it happened again:

Before I went to sleep last night I was trying to solve this issue with one of the prototypes I’m working on. Game requires mining resources in 3D space. I figured I might use one of the 3D terrain generation scripts and later fill it in with some voxel cubes. Unfortunately the performance sucked big time. I was struggling to find the solution for couple of days and it got me more and more frustrated with each and every day.

… but I won’t give up. I can’t give up. I never give up!

Only my Fiancee can convince me to detach myself from crunch mode.
“Come to bed, Chris” I hear.
So I go… and quickly fall asleep next to my love.

4:30 AM I wake up, after less then 5h sleep.
I almost scream:

– EUREKA! I found the solution!

Then I realize what time it is. The sun is about to rise. Everyone’s sleeping. Even my dog.  I try to convince myself:
“Don’t do this, Chris. Go back to sleep like a descent citizen”

One hour later – I still cant fall asleep. I MUST implement this solution. I simply MUST check if I AM RIGHT about it.

I get up. Turn on my notebook. Open up the editor. Code the solution in. IT’S WORKING! Bloody hell, IT’S WORKING!

10 minutes later I’m back in bed sleeping like a baby.

Obsession. Creative Obsession. Without it I wouldn’t be here, doing what I love – building games.